There is always another level to reach
I was the youngest of four brothers. John was the eldest, and Jacob and Eli were twins. Sometimes, I think I was adopted because I was not like any of them. John being the eldest was always the most dominant voice in the family after our father. The twins usually would follow whatever John would say or do; they looked up to him as a hero. I was not the same. I was different. And they made sure that I knew it. My name is Abel Aegis, and this is my story.
In the early days of my childhood, I lived with my parents and my brothers. We lived on a small farm close to a large lake which my mother would always tell me that at the bottom was a great diamond which had a magical energy to give life to all that lived in the lake. She called it the life source. Many times I went to the lake with her, and she would hold my hand and point to the sparkling energy that emanated deep below. It was only ever myself that went to the lake with my mother as my brothers were not interested in fanciful stories. They only enjoyed competing and fighting, something which our father instilled in us, but I was never inclined to his teachings.
While my brothers would train long hours with my father, I would walk along the edge of the lake with my mother and enjoy the life that was inside; fish of all varieties inhabited the lake, and there truly was something special about it.
“See over there, Abel,” said his mother. She pointed to the glow beneath the surface. “All the lake’s energy comes from that source, giving life to all. Nature is beautiful, and so is life.”
He looked up into his mother’s eyes. She was an angel–so beautiful and kind. “Can we go inside the lake? I want to swim with the fish.”
His mother beamed with a golden smile of warmth. “If we did that, we run the risk of hurting the fish. This lake is their home. We should respect their home just the same as we want others to respect ours.”
He smiled with innocence as he squeezed his mother’s hand. “I understand. All life is precious.”
“Yes, Abel. All life is precious. Never forget that.”
****
“Abel, you are so small and frail,” said John, squeezing Abel’s arms at the dinner table.
He pulled his arm away from his eldest brother. “I’m not small. I’m fine as I am,” he replied.
Jacob and Eli were laughing and spoke in unison. “You’re a runt!”
“That’s enough!” said their mother who raised her voice. It was very rare for their mother ever to speak so harshly.
The brothers quieted down and continued eating their dinner, but the twins were still chuckling under their breath.
“I’m not a runt…” said Abel quietly, looking down at his meal.
****
“That’s it. Excellent work, John. You will be a skilled User in no time. I see greatness in you,” said their father.
John had formed the largest barrier he had ever created; it rippled with radiant kinetic energy as it surrounded him in a shell. He then knelt down and produced a large stone which exploded as it slammed into the tree in the distance.
“My son! Fantastic! You will be a legendary User! Maybe one day, you could be First Seeker,” said their father in adulation.
John turned off his barrier and flexed his muscles.
“John, John, John!” said the twins.
“Jacob, Eli, I want you to follow in your brother’s footsteps. If you work hard, you both will be great Users, too,” said their father.
“The Aegis brothers will create a User legacy,” said Jacob as he created his barrier. It was not as big as John’s, but there was potential for growth.
Eli likewise formed a barrier and along with Jacob began to train all the while their father encouraged them.
Abel sat alone on the porch of the farm. He had yet to create a significant barrier. It seemed he had the least potential in energy generation among his siblings. He was in awe as he saw John form another barrier, and understood why their father loved John the most.
John, Jacob, and Eli continued to train under their father’s instructions, occasionally sparring with each other. It was getting cold as the last light of the day faded behind the clouds.
“That is enough for today,” said their father. The smell from the kitchen caused them all to stop and made their stomachs rumble.
John, Jacob, and Eli had hugged their father before walking to the house. Each brother gently punched Abel’s arm as they went inside, laughing and joking about the events of the day.
Abel rubbed his arm and saw his father come last. He wondered if he would get a hug, too, but his father only glanced at him briefly before heading inside. It was a look of disappointment.
****
“Come on, Abel!” shouted his brothers. “Don’t be so weak!”
Abel’s cheeks turned red as he tried to bring forth the energy to him, but it was no good and dropped to the floor in exhaustion. He just couldn’t create a significant barrier.
“Again, Abel,” said his father. “Get up! No son who bears the Aegis name can be weak!”
Abel couldn’t even move his arms or legs. He tried to pull himself up, and again he stumbled to the floor. “I’m too tired,” he said.
John picked him up and placed him on the porch. “You spend too much time at the lake and not enough time training.”
Thier father sighed and started to give directions to the twins.
“Mummy’s boy!” shouted Jacob.
“You’re a girl!” shouted Eli.
At that moment, their mother came out and gave them all a stern look. “Abel is your brother, treat him with respect,” she said.
John kissed his mother on the cheek. “Sorry, mother, but Abel needs to be stronger. He is far too submissive and weak.”
“Strength can come in many forms. Abel is not as weak as you all seem to think,” their mother replied.
“You mother him too much,” said their father. “That’s the problem.”
She ignored her husband’s comment and took Abel’s hand. “Come, Abel. Let them train while we take a walk.”
Abel gladly went with his mother, ignoring the laughter that the twins were making. They followed the cobbled path which led to the lake and stopped by two tree stumps. John and his father had cut them down for training exercises, but they now made good seats which looked across the lake.
The two of them sat on the stumps and just looked out across the lake. Birds flew overhead, migrating for the winter. The breeze was gentle as it brushed against their faces.
“Don’t worry what your brothers say. Deep down, they love you,” said his mother. She leaned in and ran her hand through his hair.
His mother’s smile warmed his heart. She always knew how to make him feel better. “I don’t know about father, though. He looks at me with such disappointment.”
She breathed slowly. “He is a proud man. Just like John, and the twins. They are all proud, but your father does love you, he just doesn’t know how to express it. Let me tell you when you were born, the joy on your father’s face was just the same as he had for your brothers.”
Abel looked up at the birds flying toward the South. They flew in a v-shape, and he wished he could join them, flying free in the sky. “It’s hard, mother. I’m not as strong as my brothers. Father sees it. I saw his look of disappointment.”
“No, that’s not true,” she said and turned him to face her, making sure their eyes were locked. “You are different. You do not have the same pride your brothers have. You have something greater. You have kindness in your heart, and that is why you have the highest potential of all my sons.”
“But I can’t even create a simple barrier,” said Abel.
“Mountains are meant to be climbed. Never give up, Abel. I know your spirit. I know the gentle spirit within you. You are stronger than you realize. No matter where you are, there is always a higher level to reach. I believe in you, Abel. Believe in yourself, too.” His mother wrapped her arms around him and held him for some time.
Abel rested inside his mother’s embrace. He was warm and content. He loved his mother.
Suddenly, his mother began to cough and straightened herself.
“Mother?” said Abel.
She coughed a few more times but then looked at him with her warm eyes. “It’s just cold. I’m fine. Let’s head back. I’m going to make an apple pie tonight. Would you like that?”
Abel jumped up and danced around the tree stump. “Yes!”
She laughed and took his hand as they walked back. The light of the day shone on their backs, and as it faded the shadows of mother and son grew.
****
Abel was doing it! He formed the barrier around him. It was his greatest achievement. It glowed around him in a transparent sphere.
Their father rushed out of the farmhouse and jumped wildly in the air. The brothers all turned to their father in confusion.
“We are having another child!” said the father. He jumped up and down.
John and the twins ran inside to see their mother, all of them with faces of joy.
No one had seen Abel’s barrier, but he didn’t mind. He had goosebumps as he continued to watch his father jumping up and down. He wondered if his father had been the same when he had been born. Well, he would no longer be the youngest, but he would make sure the next child would have all the love in the world. He ran inside after his brothers to see his mother. He had never been happier.
****
“It’s going to be a girl,” said their mother.
“A girl! After four sons, finally I will have a girl!” said the father. He couldn’t stop smiling as he kissed his wife on both cheeks.
Abel was going to have a sister. He had always wanted to be an older brother, and now he would. However, there was something in the way his father spoke as if he had wanted a daughter before. Perhaps his birth was a disappointment. What if his father had wanted a girl last time, but instead it was him? Abel was confused, but he put it out of his mind and kissed his mother’s hand. She looked weaker than usual.
“Serenity. I want to call her Serenity,” said the mother.
His father’s eyes opened in delight. “Serenity, my beautiful daughter. She will be as beautiful as my wife!” He kissed his wife on the lips this time.
“We will need to build another room for Serenity,” said John.
His father embraced John. “Absolutely. Jacob, Eli, come with John and me, we will start to plan the new room. We need a lot of wood.”
His mother laughed. “It’s a bit early for gathering wood. Do you need to do it now?”
His father blew a kiss to his wife. “My first daughter needs a well-built room, and there is no better day than to start now. Abel, look after your mother while we are out cutting wood.” He then left the house with John and the twins.
Abel lowered his eyes as his father left. His mother placed her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t mind your father. He does love you.”
Abel looked up at his mother with uncertainty. “You know me well, mother. I just don’t think father will ever see me as anything but a failure. He never shows me any gratitude or love. I even created the strongest barrier ever just now.”
She hugged him tightly. “I’m so proud of you, Abel. I knew you were struggling with barrier development, but you did it! You did it! See, you can do anything. When Serenity is born, you and she will be best pals; I just know it. It will be up to you to show her what a brother’s love is like.”
A warm fuzzy sensation filled him as his mother beamed with pride when she learned about his barrier. Even if it was just his mother who believed in him, then that was enough. He only needed her. She was his strength.
The color in his mother’s face drained, and she almost fell, but he caught her before she slipped. “Mother? What’s wrong?” His voice was wavering.
She began to cough; they sounded dry and rough. He looked at her with worry.
“I’m fine, Abel. Thanks. It must be due to the pregnancy and excitement of the day. I’m going to get dinner. You can help me cut the vegetables.” She steadied herself and walked to the kitchen.
Abel’s heart was beating rapidly. He watched his mother leave with unease. Something was wrong.
****
Many months had passed and his mother had a constant cough that wouldn’t go away. Her natural User ability to heal herself seemed to be ineffective. The coughing only worsened as the weeks went by and she grew weaker every day as she got further into her pregnancy.
Father and his brothers had already built an extension for Serenity, and everyone was excited as the birth grew closer.
But Abel knew something far worse was wrong with his mother. She refused to see any doctors over this cough. She thought it was just mild asthma. Father had tried to convince her, but she was a firm woman who wouldn’t be persuaded.
His mother’s stomach was now so large that it was the size of a football. His little sister was inside.
“Come and touch it. She’s kicking,” said his mother. She laid on the bed with a big smile. Even though she looked pale and weak, she was smiling.
Abel gently placed his hand on his mother’s stomach. He looked at her with amazement as he felt the thud against his hand. “She kicked!”
“Serenity, that is your brother, Abel,” said his mother. “He is a kind soul who will love you as much as I will.”
“She kicked again!” said Abel in delight.
Suddenly his mother started coughing. Her hands were cold, and her face was as white as a ghost. Her eyelids then closed shut.
“Mother!”
****
They rushed her to the hospital. Doctors and nurses immediately placed their mother inside one of the rooms and closed the door.
“Is she going to be alright?” said John with tears in his eyes.
Abel had never seen his elder brother cry. In fact, he had never seen any of them cry. His father and the twins were also in tears. It was only Abel who did not cry.
His father walked back and forth down the corridor. His hands were erratic as he ran them through his hair.
A doctor rushed out. “Your wife is awake. She needs to talk to you, alone.” His face was not one of joy.
His father looked at the doctor then at his sons. “You will see her soon,” he said as he went inside.
The twins wiped their tears and looked at Abel. “Why don’t you cry?” said Jacob. “You were her favorite. You seem like you don’t care.”
“Our mother isn’t like that. She doesn’t have favorites. She loved us all equally,” replied Abel.
Eli looked at him angrily. “No, she loved you more. Where is your emotion?”
John stepped in and separated them. “Stop it, the both of you.”
Abel moved to the other side and sat opposite to his brothers. The twins still had tears in their eyes while John looked at the floor, deep in thought.
Several minutes later, their father came out. He was unable to hold back his tears. He struggled to speak. “Your mother…she wants to see each one of you separately. John, you’re first.”
John’s hands trembled as he stood up and went inside. Their father was crying uncontrollably. He would not speak to them and just asked them to wait.
John returned, and he was the same as their father. He could not stop crying. Abel prepared himself. Jacob went in next, followed by Eli. Each of them was crying as they left the room. It was now Abel’s turn, and he was scared. His heart was beating quickly, and his hands became cold.
“Mother?” he said as he entered the hospital room. She was barely awake as he stood by her bedside. Her face was so pale.
“Abel…” she said her voice but a whisper. “My sweet, sweet Abel.” She raised her right hand to reach him.
He quickly placed his hand over hers and squeezed. “What’s wrong, mother?”
She coughed and then pulled his hand over her stomach. “Do you feel her?”
Serenity kicked against the stomach. Abel didn’t understand. “What’s wrong?” he asked once more.
His mother looked him in his eyes. “Abel, whatever happens, I want you to promise you will always have kindness in your heart. Your kindness is what makes you strong. Out of all my sons, you are the strongest. I see it. You have a conviction, a spirit that never rests. There is greatness in you. Promise me, Abel.”
His mother’s hand was cold in his as he squeezed it. “I promise. I will be strong for you.” He did not cry even though his heart was breaking.
“It seems my little cough happened to be more than little. The doctor has told me that my immune system is weak and that I will not make it if I have the baby.”
Abel couldn’t breathe. The room seemed to get smaller as everything around him shrunk.
“In other words, if I have the baby, I will die. If I don’t, Serenity will die.” There were tears in his mother’s eyes. “You know I cannot make the choice which would kill your baby sister. There is only one choice but to make. Serenity will live, and you will love her with everything you have. Tell her of her mother, who I was, and that I loved her very much. I wish I could have the time to see you both grow up to be great people. I love you, Abel.”
Abel held her hand. His mother still looked like an angel. A golden aura surrounded her as he spent his last few moments with his mother. Not once did he cry.
****
“This was your fault!” Jacob pushed Abel against the wall. He was about to hit him but was thrown backward.
John lifted Jacob up and sat him down. “It’s no one’s fault.”
Jacob tried to fight John, but John easily held him down. “If Abel didn’t take her to that damn lake, then mom would still be alive. She caught that cough from there!”
Abel’s stomach tightened, and then he was knocked down. Eli was standing over him. “Jacob’s right,” said Eli, his fist now bruised after having hit him in the face.
John looked down at Abel with sad eyes. He released Jacob, and Jacob and Eli left the house with fury in their eyes. John helped him up. “Give them time,” he said.
“It’s fine. I understand,” said Abel. “Maybe they’re right.”
John didn’t respond to that. “Dad will be back home with our new sister soon. Clean yourself up.”
Abel’s right eye was bleeding. It didn’t hurt as much as his heart was hurting, though. He left the house and followed the cobbled road to the lake. The evening air was fresh, and it was peacefully quiet. He found the two tree stumps and moved closer to the edge of the water. He looked down at his reflection. The water rippled as he placed his hand into it. He then dunked his head into the lake and held his breath for several seconds before returning to the surface. He took a big gulp of air and flicked his wet hair. Serenity, his sister, would be home soon. What did she look like? Father didn’t want any of them to be at the hospital when mother gave birth. He said it would be too painful.
Abel looked at his reflection once more. The wind touched his face, and he thought of his mother. He still remembered how she looked when he last saw her. Her face so pale, and hands so cold. But there was love and warmth in her eyes. He looked back and saw the two tree stumps where they used to sit and remembered all the times she would be there for him. He was alone now. His brothers hated him, blamed him. His father probably blamed him, too. Would Serenity blame him as well?
His heart ached. He had tried to keep in the pain for so long, but it was overwhelming now. For the first time he cried, he cried so hard that his eyes had no more tears to shed. He cried alone. He loved his mother so much.
****
Serenity was beautiful. She was an angel. Her arms and legs were so small, and her eyes were just like her mother’s. When Abel had arrived, Serenity was crying. His father looked worn and tired. His eyes were red from the many tears he had shed. His father tried to carry Serenity to stop her crying, but he could not. John tried next, but he too failed. The twins took turns each, and they too failed.
“Can I hold her?” asked Abel.
His father looked doubtful, but then nodded. He gentled passed Serenity over to him.
As soon as Serenity was in Abel’s arms, she stopped crying. Abel looked down at her and smiled. She laughed cheerfully, as he carried her around the room.
“Well, at least your good at something,” said Jacob spitefully.
Abel ignored him, but he was sure he saw a hint of pride coming from his father as he carried Serenity in his arms.
****
Many years passed. Times were tough since their mother had gone. John had left the farm and had gone to study at a school to improve his User ability. Father was so proud. With John gone, there was less order. His father was barely managing to keep everyone together. The twins still hated Abel, even after all these years, they still blamed him for their mother’s death.
One evening, he decided to take Serenity to the lake. He showed her the two tree stumps were they used to sit and chat. Serenity was a joy to be around. She was so curious, and was always asking questions. Every time he looked at her, he saw his mother.
They sat down on the tree stumps and looked out together. “I wish mom was with us,” she said.
Abel looked into the sky. “I do, too. She is up there watching over us.”
Serenity looked down at the floor. “Sometimes I think it was my fault that she died.”
Abel took her hand and turned her to him. He looked her in the eyes. “Never think that. It was not your fault. Don’t you ever think that again. She loved you. She loved us all.”
Serenity was quiet.
Abel leaned in and hugged her.
She cuddled inside his warm arms. Her brown hair blew against the wind.
“This is where you got your name,” said Abel.
Serenity looked up at him. “What do you mean?”
“This place is peaceful, quiet, and serene. Just like you, Serenity,” said Abel.
She hugged him tighter and nestled her head against his chest. “I don’t understand why Jacob and Eli treat you so badly.”
Abel released himself from the hug. “They have their reasons,” he said softly.
“Father also doesn’t treat you fairly,” she said. “Let me beat them up for you!”
Abel laughed at her innocence. She had the same strength and compassion that their mother had. She was also strong like her. Abel looked into the distance and thought of how kind she had been to him. When he thought of their father, he only ever wanted to make him proud, but he seemed to be never good enough for him. He only could remember the many times his father had look disappointed. He missed his mother more than anyone could ever know.
****
It was late in the night when he decided to go the lake. He had to wait for Serenity to go to sleep as she always wanted to visit the lake with him. This time, he wanted to be alone. He picked up his jacket and left the house. He followed the cobbled path and reached the lake. There was only the wind against the trees when he arrived. But something felt strange. By the lake, there was a shadow, an outline of somebody standing and looking out across the lake. Abel stepped back behind a tree and watched the figure. It was too dark to see who or what it was. He waited an hour just watching, but the figure did not move, nor did he turn around.
Abel could not keep his eyes open any longer and returned to the farm. When his head hit the pillow, he quickly forgot about the figure, and soon dreamt of his mother. It would be the best dream he ever had.
****
For five nights, he had gone to the lake, and every night, the figure was there, standing, watching, waiting, but never moving. Abel was not sure what to do. Who was this figure?
The evening had gone very badly after dinner. Jacob had brought up their mother and still blamed Abel for their mother’s death. Abel almost lost his temper and got into a fight with him, but Serenity had pushed herself in between them, forcing them to stop. Their father had done nothing to intervene. Everything always seemed to be Abel’s fault. His father never believed in him. The only good thing in his life was Serenity. She was too good and too kind.
Abel waited until Serenity was in bed. He kissed her forehead and tucked her in. “Goodnight, Serenity,” he said.
Serenity squeezed his hand just like his mother had used to. “Jacob was wrong. The twins are stupid. I love you, Abel.”
He looked into her warm eyes and squeezed her hand back. “I love you, too.”
He waited until she was asleep before leaving. He then picked up his jacket and made his way to leave the farm. Tonight he would approach the figure, but when he was about to leave the house, he heard his father call to him.
“Abel?”
He turned to his father. “Father?”
“You’re going to the lake again?”
“I am.”
“Why?”
“It is peaceful. It reminds me of the past.”
“The past..,” His father repeated. “It reminds you of your mother.”
Abel was sure this was the longest conversation he had ever had with his father. He didn’t know what it meant. “Yes. She loved that place. Why don’t you come with me?”
“No, it would be too painful.” He looked at Abel with sadness.
Abel tightened his jacket and placed his hand on the door.
“Your mother always believed in your strength, but I…” his father’s words trailed off unable to finish the sentence.
Abel did not need to turn back to look at his father for he knew there would be only disappointment in his father’s eyes. He was never good enough for him. “Goodnight, father.” He opened the door and left.
****
When he reached the lake, the figure was still there, in the same place. He wondered if the figure had moved at all? The sky was clear, and the moon shone brightly across the lake.
Abel could not wait any longer and decided to find out who this figure was. When he approached, the figure emanated a great amount of energy; he had never experienced such power coming from one person before. He was unsure if he should go further, but when he thought of turning back, the figure spoke to him.
“I wondered when you would have the courage to approach me. I am glad I waited. I was not wrong about you.”
Abel looked at the figure. He could see him clearly now. He looked to be a few years older than he was, except his face showed a man with wisdom beyond his years. “Who are you?” he asked.
The figure moved for the first time and took a deep breath of the fresh air around him. “I have come looking for talented individuals. You are one that I have come to seek.”
“You think me talented?” said Abel.
“I do.”
“My father would disagree with you.”
“Your father is a fool.” The figures response was cold and unexpected.
Abel took a step back. “It’s late. I should return.”
The figure blinked behind him and looked into his eyes. Abel was taken aback. There was so much suffering portrayed in his eyes. How could such eyes hold so much despair?
“I know of you, Abel. I know what you crave. You and I are much alike.”
“You know nothing of me,” said Abel.
The figure walked around him. “Your father thinks you a failed offspring. There is a disappointment in his eyes. I know because my father is the same.”
Abel was silent.
“Your brothers treat you differently. They think you weak, but you are strong.”
Abel’s hands began to tremble.
“And the mother who loved you left you when she died. My mother also died and left me.”
Abel’s breathing was heavy as he listened. “How do you know all this?” he asked.
“You should not ask me how I know all this, but ask me how to fix all this,” the figure responded.
“Tell me your name,” said Abel.
“My name is Ander. You are Abel. And there are many like you. I have come to look for souls who are lost, who crave something, Users who want to achieve another level. Do you have something you crave, Abel?”
Abel thought of his father. His father was always so disappointed. He wanted to prove his father he was strong, that he was just as good as his other sons. “Yes,” said Abel.
Ander placed his hand on Abel’s shoulder. “Good. You are the one I seek. Come, let us go meet the others.”
Abel stopped him. “Others? I cannot go with you. I have a family, a home here.”
Ander looked at him. “Do you? I can offer you another family. I can train you to be stronger. You will be a greater User than any of your brothers, but I only give you one chance to take this offer. Do you want to remain and be a constant reminder to your father that he is so disappointed in you? How about your brothers who look down on you? Do you want to keep all that?”
The more Ander spoke, the more he wanted to join him. “There is something greater than all that, my sister.”
Ander nodded. “Yes, she is the only good thing in your life. You and she share a special bond, but you can always return to her later once you have proven yourself to your father. Or do you want to waste several more years here, wondering what could have been?”
Abel didn’t know what to do. “Can I return and say goodbye?”
“No, you must make your choice now. You can come with me to meet your new family, brothers, and sisters who will treat you with equal amounts of respect, and train under me to become stronger, or you can stay here and live your life as it is. Remember, I know what it is like to have a father who always thinks you are a failure. I have only one thing to say to that, and that is, they are wrong!”
Abel was surprised by the power that emanated from his voice. He then looked at the two stumps and thought of his mother. He wished she was here. His father was terrible, and what Ander was saying was true. Could he really be stronger than his brothers? “How long will I be away from my family?”
Ander breathed in the cold air. “Until you are ready to return.”
Abel looked behind him and in the distance could see the lights of his farmhouse. Serenity would be sleeping. Would she forgive him for leaving?
“There is always another level to reach,” said Ander.
Abel was surprised. “That is what my mother used to say.”
Ander was expressionless. “The choice is yours.”
Abel spent a moment thinking. He then tightened his jacket and turned back to Ander. “I’ve made my choice.”
Ander watched him intently.
“I will go with you.”
The air around them grew colder. Ander did not reveal any emotion and indicated for him to follow. Abel turned back one last time to the lights of his family farm. “Serenity, forgive me,” he said before disappearing in a flash of light with Ander.
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